Are we back?

Don't throw parties just yet. Film Junkies has not risen from the grave quite yet, but may be experience an evolution of sorts in the next few days. Watch this space and all will be revealed soon enough to everyone patient enough.

Nothingess

Where’d all the fireworks go?

My plan was always going to be that I update this site with a movie review a day till the cows came home, called it a day, and took a nice long nap. I’d make my fame and fortune off the spoils of my brilliant literary wit and criticism skill.

Then…*dramatic thunder-clap* It all went wrong.

I started school full-time. I got a part time job working at a library. I became the promotions manager at the Bloor Cinema in Toronto. The reviews started coming out in fits. My writing started to become tedious and repetitive (Some would argue it was always that way). I was beginning to feel like I was filling in mad-libs sheets.

It was over.

Will the glory days of Film Junkies ever be back with vengeance? Hard to say. For all intents and purposes I LOVE to write about film and I don’t’ seem shutting about it anytime soon, so there’s always that dangling carrot. If you live in Toronto, you’ve lucked out on the best hand possible, because you’ll be able to suffer through my on-stage introductions to all the retro and cultish films at The Bloor Cinema. I’ll be also be organizing together a film group to discuss cinematic geekery once a week in association with the theater.

Everyone else...Uh…I’d recommend checking this site out maybe twice a months for scattered updates, but forget about it being daily or even weekly, it just isn’t going to happen. Well, unless you’re an eccentric millionaire who wants to pay my way through life, call me, we'll iron out the details.

Toronto After Dark Day 5

Netherbeast Incorporated (USA. 2007)



Expanded from an award winning short film (which happens to be re-created in the first scene) Nether beast Incorporated deals with the repercussions that come about when a CEO gets amnesia and forgets that the entire office is made up of vampires (Him included). From a funny premise we get a slightly funny movie that starts off strong and quickly loses its way when it attempts to take its premise seriously and squeeze a little drama. They accidentally squeeze out the fun instead. The cast is filled with B-list stars (Dave Foley, Jason Mewes, Darrell Hammond) that can be nothing more of a presence because they aren’t given any material to work with. The ending fails miserably, with completely melodramatic plot twists, a piss poor sound design and a coda that goes on way past its welcome. The first scene is the funniest thing and that's a bad sign when it's a shot-for-shot remake of the short film the entire thing is based on.



Who is K.K Downey? (CANADA. 2008)


Straight from Montreal, Quebec, Who is K.K Downey? is about two loser best friends that attempt to make it big by publishing a sordid tale of fiction called ‘Truck stop Hustler’ and pretending that it’s all true. One of them will pose as the author and the other one will be his ‘Manager’. Unexpectedly the book becomes a smash hit, things get out of hand, the good friend goes bad, and they realize that the price of fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s not a new tale by any stretch of the imagination but the presentation of it all is fresh enough to keep you interested. The two leads (Darren Curtis and Matt Silver) are funny in small doses but start to wear out their welcome as the film reaches its conclusion. The satirical vein on the art scene is more playful then darkly comic which is a bit of shame. They poke the scene instead of ripping out it's guts like I hoped for. It's such an easy target that a more brutal take on it would have worked a little better. Still, it’s rare to see such a well put together film coming from our home and native land, so give it a watch even though it kind of runs itself dry before the end credits roll.

Toronto After Dark - Day 3

I ducked behind a garbage can and held my breath. Across the street I could see that Chris had gotten himself completely surrounded. He raised his weak little arms and begged for mercy. The horde didn’t hesitate. A zombie dressed as Ronald McDonald grabbed him by the head and an undead flesh eater dressed like a blushing bride with half her jaw ripped off, held his arms back. Chris tried to scream and all that slipped from his lips was a girlish little whimper “Help me Justin..." I looked away and didn't look back till the screaming stopped.

They ate his kidneys first. The joys of Zombie Walk Day.

The film of the day for me was the pseudo zombie-er Brain Dead. I went in with zero expectation and stepped out unsurprised. The plot is uninspired (A bunch of people get trapped in a cabin and are attacked by a couple of alien zombie type things), and the characters are either aggravating (The smart-ass hero) to annoying (The By-The-Books Butch Lesbian) with nothing in between. It's gives the audience a bad case of the "Why won't they all just die" decease. Kevin S. Tenney’s (of ‘Night of the Demons’ and ‘Witchboard’ fame) direction is pleasantly polished, but he still runs into some weird pacing problems that make the whole jaunt feel like it lasts three hours. If you’re in it for the fun gore, forget it, everything worthwhile was included in the trailer. Just go and watch that again.

Toronto After Dark - DAY 2

“I saved us some seats!”Chris in the tone of voice better suited for a ten year old kid showing his parents his A+ paper. I glanced around the empty theater and turned back to his grinning face. I half expected him to throw up a hand and go “HIGH-FIVE!”

You know the guy in line that’s hopping from foot to foot as if he needs to pee? You may arrive early every time and this is guy is always there first! That’s Chris.

I’m the hobo looking fellow slumped in his seat. I'm fighting a losing battle with his eyelids because I spent most of that morning dancing to techno beats with his fellow filmgoers. I’m also the poor sucker has a Philosophy paper that needs to be handed in first thing Monday morning.

Don’t worry. I’m watching movies instead. I have my priorities straight.

Idiots and Angels proved to be familiar stomping ground for bat-shit insane (And really nice guy) Director/Animator/Writer Bill Plympton: It has his grotesque caricatures of humanity, the crazy animated directorial touches and screaming (lots of screaming). After a lengthy break from feature filmmaking, Bill decides to scale back from his last two major works: ‘Mutant Aliens and the STILL unreleased (In North America) ‘Hair High’, and instead grab simple concept and run with it. In this case, it’s the story of an unlikable man being gifted with a pair of Angel Wings. There’s definite creativity on display here, but the smaller scale and a lack of laugh-out loud moments make it more of an interesting (and slightly un-engaging) animated experiment then a successful film.

The Chilean super-hero film Mirage Man does everything right. It’s not an outright comedy, nor is it a serious faced commentary on the genre. It’s a simple story with a solid emotional core, a sly sense of humor and proves to be another step forward (After the unwieldy Kiltro) toward action stardom for star Mark Zardoz. Its action is quotient is high, but mostly composed of people getting hit in the face and falling hard on cement.

The third film of the night was the sold-out screening of REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA. I reviewed it already HERE, but after a second viewing, I can confidently state it holds up even better. I kept my opinions in check this time, let the music roll over me, and really got hooked. I didn’t realize till now that the ENTIRE FILM is music. The only parts that aren’t sung are a handful of phone calls. The screenwriter/grave robber said they have three discs of music ready to release! The film opens in Toronto on November 21’st.

The last film DONKEY PUNCH dealt with a bunch of beautiful rich people doing stupid things on a boat and then paying for their stupid mistakes in grizzly ways. The film wasn’t boring, it had a mean streak a mile long and the cast did a good job it they were trying to get me to hate all of them. Character motivations are all over the place (At one moment two people will want each other dead and then the next they’ll be speaking casually) and the ending is abrupt in a way that makes you go “But the character could just…Aw…Never mind.”

After Dark: DAY 1 - Let The Right One In

DAY 1

The Narrator (Justin Decloux) – He smells faintly of garlic. His hair isn’t combed. He’ll stare at you with a glazed expression and speak only references to pre-season 10 episodes of The Simpsons. Stay clear.

Christian Murdoch –A Fanatic Film Fan. He’s the narrator’s go-to guy for help assassinating zombies. He can crush a man’s skull into the form of a diamond. He would make an ideal husband.

Madison Parker- Festival Virgin and Female Perspective on Male Idiocy. She will woo you with her boundless charm.

Adam Lopez – Head Programmer, Manager and all around maestro of the After Dark Film Festival. The few who have felt his wrath have been stricken from history books. Mortal eyes shall wither and burn if they ever cross his form.

Dobblar the Gopher– An Evil Gopher who does Evil Things. Sneaky. Don't eat any of his candy.

“What if they figure out I’m a fraud?” I whispered to Chris, my partner in crime, as we shuffled closer to the table where I was going to pick up my press pass. I wasn’t press. I was just a guy who couldn’t differentiate you and you’re. I was a bozo that scribbled rants about films I onlt half remembered seeing through a haze of highly illegal narcotics at 4:00 AM in a stranger's (He had a beard. I think) basement. I’ve only seen twelve films in my entire life. Everything else I make up as I go along.

“You’ll be fine. I’m the one that’s sweating.” Chris said. He was a few years shy of the mandatory viewing age and his charade of appearing older wore him down to a jangle of nerves.

“Don’t worry! I don’t think anyone will realizes you’re actually s—“ I said loud enough for all 1104 people in line to hear.

Chris signaled me to be quiet down by punching me in the throat. The suits could be listening. The whole operation could be blown. And if he was going to miss out on After Dark, the only highlight in his barren high-school existence, he would have my head on a pike. Then he would kill me. Slowly.

It was my second time at Toronto After Dark (Now in its third incarnation) and the feeling of something exra-special was in the air. The films were high-class (Snagging the soon to be cult Repo: The Genetic Opera was a coup), the presentation slicker then ever (It’s all about the glossy full color programs) and more ticket sales then they ever imagined possible promised rowdy crowds. I had somehow tricked the management into letting me attend as a member of the Press this year. My human sacrifice had finally paid off.

The film of the night was ‘Let One Right In’, a Swedish film about a bullied twelve year old boy who befriends a 12 year old looking girl that happens to have a taste for the red stuff. Yup, she’s a vampire.

‘Let the Right One In’ was the perfect picture start off the fest: Dramatic, featured a hint of genre without ever going over the top with it, and a foreign filmness to add to make the audience think 'I'm seeing something different' . It’s the kind of film that is easier to talk about then watch again. I found the performances spot on, the mood perfect, and the direction restrained. I don’t know if I’d rush out to see it again, mostly because of a painfully slow pace, but I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it.

For the first time ever, an After Dark screening was completely sold out. Not only that, but due to a processing error, 100 ticket holders had to be turned away at the door due to the theater being packed to capacity. Adam Lopez was sincerely sorry about it all, but you could tell that on the inside, he was happy as blood gorged vampire.

***

I stepped out into the cool 3 AM night air and took a deep breath. My friend Madison giggled. Behind us, the After Party continued to rock on. Someone was beating up the strings on a Viola.
“I’ve never been this drunk” Madison slurred through her trade marked grin “Do festivals always rock this much?"

"Only time will tell." I said in my best wise-man voice "But I think you got lucky with this one."

She agreed by breaking into a dance. A homeless man wearing a top-hat glanced in our direction and I could almost read his thoughts.

"Crazy film people."

And proud of it!

Toronto After Dark

The After Dark Film Festival is up and running and hitting the city with a slew of fantastic genre films. We've already been treated to flat out marvels ("Let the Right One In" and "Mirageman" to name a few) and the week only gets better from there on out.

On Monday you have a hard-edged (and undoubtedly nauseatingly ultra-violent) film Red, based on a Novel by Jack Ketchum. Following that is the Asian Shocker Omnibus film "4Bia." I had a chance to see the latter at Fantasia this year and if you like your slices of horror creepalicious and filled with seat-flying moments, this is the one for you.

On Tuesday, you get the rip-roaring horror comedy "Netherbeast Incorporated" and the Montreal based soon to be cult comic extravaganza "Who is K.K Downey?"

Check out complete listing at TORONTOAFTERDARK.COM. I'll be updating in a few days with some reviews, ramblings and akwardly personal journal entries of my time at the fest. If you spot me (Green Press Pass, Black Hair, Glasses, Extremely Loud) feel free to shout out my name and I'll happily wander over to chat.