Dragon Squad/Dragon Heat (Why the hell did they change the title!?) is about a bunch of cops (Horrifyingly bad pop-star actors) who fight crime. Well, their stunt doubles fight crime. And they...Well...*sigh* This movie hurt to watch. I'm at a loss for words at how much pain the mind numbing attempt at a hollywood/east product caused to what little grey matter I have left.Framed and shot to make it look more internationally pleasing (As in: like the cameraperson was having continual seizures) it comes off as meek imitation of films like "The Bourne Supremacy" and "Collateral" instead. The convoluted story (Something about gangs…revenge…I think…Urghhh) isn’t helped by the editors mainlining pop rox and sitting down to put it all together in a giant sleepless marathon. It jumps around more often than a headless chicken on a trampoline. You know trouble is amiss with when you’re introduced to 15+ characters (All with their own snazzy title card) within the first 7 minutes of the film. And maybe all would be forgiven (No, it wouldn’t) if the action was any good, but as previously mentioned everything is shot so close and cut so quick that it’s completely incompressible. It doesn’t help that style over substance director Daniel Lee throws every directorial trick in the book (Stop-Frame, Shutter Speed Changes, Blue Tinted Filters) to make it all look snazzy and expensive. And it causes bits of brain to leak out of your ears.
To add insult to injury, genre Vet Sammo Hung and Simon Yam are completely wasted their roles as policemen. It takes skill to screw up a fight starring everyone’s favorite rotund acrobat, but the creative team here pulls it off admirably. Michael Bien (Terminator, Grind-House) does a good job at phoning in his top baddie performance from half-way across the world. I wonder if he gets good rates.
To cap off the whole affair, the film is produced by Steven Segal. If the mention of everyone's favorite pony tailed buddhist fat-man hiding in his giant mumu doesn’t smell like North American cash, I don’t what does.
DVD: Released by "Dragon Dynasty" (Hong Kong importer extrodinaire. Part of the evil Weinstein company) the DVD is pretty bare for such a recent flick. The most interesting part, as per all of DD's releases is the commentary track by HK film expert Bey Logan. The most insteresting his participation on this film in particular is that he was an executive producer on the project. Sadly, he's actually entertaining and it's not composed of him going "I'm sorry....I'm so sorry..."
2 comments:
Okay, why did you even bother with "Dragon Squad/Heart"? Was it in the bargain bin? I want to see more topical reviews, like Son of Rambow or an early review of X-Files: I want to believe. More than anything I want an early review of X-Files: I want to believe.
I try to keep things a little diverse (As you may have noticed, I posted two reviews that day instead of the usual one rave) and sometimes a good ripping into a crappy film cleans my pallete of expressions like "Fatastic! Extraordinary! Knock it out of the park! It was like getting a free blow job by a giant pair of sentient lips!!!"
The only conomdrum I face when it comes to reviewing current flicks soiling cinema screens is that EVERY other site does it (better) and unless I want to make a stand for something that's completely critically lambasted (Say, Speed Racer) I'll usually keep mum. But more indie flicks (Son of Rambow is a good suggestion, I have seen that, and it was ACES) appearing in Toronto, I'll review them as they roll my way. Topical flicks that interested me will appear, but other stuff like "Harold and Kumar" will not. Unless someone out there want to pick up a pen and send it in! *shameless plug*
I'd LOVE to review X-Files 2: I want to believe, but other sites that get more hits then us meagre folk, like aintitcool.com, are the best place to find advanced reviews.
Thanks for reading the site!
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