The Forbidden Kingdom (North America, 2008)

A ‘ Jackie Chan/Jet Li team up’ has been nothing but a dream in the fairy dust filled heads of Hong Kong film Junkies since the early 80’s. By the time both of them exploded on the international scene as house-hold kung-fu maestros, the chances of them duking it out were next to oblivion. It was a match that was so jaw dropping obvious that Lord Logic had sworn it would never happen. When 2008 showed up both of stars were well into their 50’s and were rolling around in donkey dung on a regular basis. (A.K.A Making Crappy Films) The chances of them returning to the glory days of 'faster then light kicks to the crotch' were just as good ME fighting them. We all had to accept it. I would have won anyway.

And then I heard that they where about to star Hollywood funded Disney style adventure. It was going to be an adaptation (Bastardization) of the Chinese “Monkey King” legend. The lead was going to be some white kid from the Bronx who gets sent to ‘The Magical Fantasy Land of China’. It was directed by the guy helmed the Eddie Murphy abortion ‘The Haunted Mansion.’ Jackie and Jet where going to be the sidekicks. All the fun would be of the family variety. I cried bloody tears.

With every sliver of crappy marketing the film groaned under the weight of failure. It was only after I cried mercy that some good started to filter through: The film was shot by Peter Pau, the cinematographer of MANY classic Hong Kong/China films (Bride with White Hair, Swordsman, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.) It co-starred rising martial arts star Collin Chou. It was action choreographed by Hollywood friendly, but still BRILLIANT, Yue-Wo Ping. None of that meant I was going to rush to the cinema to see it any time soon. It just meant I wouldn’t have to hurt any small animals when it was released.

I finally buckled like a belt, paid my four dollars (Rainbow Cinema: Tuesdays) and watched it with an open mind.

Colour me suprised.

Forbidden Kingdom knows that it’s a kid-friendly blockbuster starring two of the most well known martial artists of all time and it never white-washes itself for mass consumption. It’s covered in film geek references to kung-fu fantasy films of days gone by. The opening credits themselves are packed with posters from the CLASSICS of the genre. They never had to do that. The only person who’d get it

The main Caucasian ‘star’ (Michael Angarano) may be the gateway to the world but by the end of the tale he’s nothing more than a glorified sidekick. And while the kid may look like a Shia Laboeuf clone he still has enough of charismatic screen presence to keep you interested. Collin Chou is a generic villain that has the moves. Female love interest Yifei Liu looks pretty and pouts. Jet Li and Jackie Chan look like they’re having the more fun on screen then they had in any North American film in the last ten years.

The action by Woo-ping Yuen is fast and plentiful, but not very original. It reeks of been there done that. The cinematography is fluid and engaging as expected. The ‘humor’ is lame and predictable. And for some reason, there was a lot of violence. People are shot on screen, killed by giant knife darts and shot by arrows. During the final fight I actually felt in my gut that the kid was being beaten to a bloody pulp. It was a surprising change from the usual light and fluffy way Hollywood treats people smacking themselves around. I don’t’ know about you, but when I’ve gotten into fights it hurts. Quite a bit.

If you want to see Jet and Jackie fight they could have done ten million times worth. It’s not a Hong Kong film, but it’s the closest we’re ever going to get from the studio system. And that’s saying a lot. See it.